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Thursday, April 6, 2017

Is this thing on?

I have heard the legend. If you say bad baseball three games in a row and are completely eviscerated by the 7th inning you will be visited by the ghosts of Luke Hudson, and Mark Redman, Mike Maroth, and Hideo Nomo. And maybe just maybe a really old Royals blog that was nothing more than the late night ramblings of a total loser kid who had nothing better to do then write about a really bad baseball team and his inability to find love… Well some things never change because RoRetc is back!

Since this blog has not been relevant in six years I am sure all the kids are going to just… uh do kid stuff? I do not know, I mean I was only a 17 year old kid myself when I started this blog and now I’m 25 and have 80% of my Bachelors of Science completed. So I’m no longer relevant in that regard. But holy **** the Royals won the World Series in 2015! I wrote a lot about that but never posted here because I am still a baseball fan and thus incredibly superstitious. But hey all the posts from now on will be written in Microsoft Word so no more horrific grammar and spelling and enough of this prelude lets dive in:

Greg Holland is a total stud and it totally sucks that he’s not still a Royal. Wait can I still say sucks at 25 and not be written off as irrelevant? Also Wade Davis is kicking butt, and Jorge Soler is so-injured. Also I’m older than Jorge, is that mother’s basement trope still a thing in 2017 or is that something else that has passed me by? Wow this is getting confusing… anyone else miss Matt Stairs?

It’s only three games and I have been around long enough to know that there is still a lot of baseball left, for better or worse. So get ready for a great season starting tomorrow in Houston, and for goodness sakes can someone please light a prayer candle for our bullpen just before the start of the 7th inning? I mean it could not hurt. (For real you better be lighting a prayer candle for the 7th if the game is close)

Also please; because this blog made a point of pointing out great Royals merch (some people said it was the only good thing I did), please for the love of all things good and pure and holy and awesome and other adjectives in this world; please buy theme tickets and acquire this:


Because quite frankly it is the single greatest piece of Royals merch I have ever seen, and yeah I know it's against the Central dominating Minnesota Twins but maybe we'll get lucky. Plus if you don't you WILL REGRET IT AND IT WILL HAUNT YOU UNTIL DEATH AND EVEN BEYOND probably, but maybe not.


Thanks for reading after all these years, and you did not even have to donate to a Kickstarter or GoFundMe! How lucky can you be ? I’ll see you soon with more Royals coverage. 

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