Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Losing Streaks Are Like....

Losing streaks are like this......

(Man shows off his  Royal's Baseball Pride[MSN])
Horrible to look at, smelly, overall disturbing and setting next to you on your 3 hour flight....

But not to worry.
To much.
Tomorrow marks a new day, maybe a last chance for Danny Duffy to prove he should stay in the Majors.
And besides your use to losing streaks by now, I mean you ARE a Royals fan right ?
You are use to losing streaks like Trey Hillman, Ned Yost, and Jeff Foxworthy are use to attending Bible studies.
But don't fret, comedian Jeff Foxworthy has this to say:
"It's exciting," he said. "This team's a year or two away from being one of the coolest teams to watch in baseball." 
So if you didn't believe Tony Pena when he said...

If you don't believe baseball gurus when they say it....

Don't you dare laugh when a professional comedian says it  !

Win free Royals Tickets

 Well I've got some nice little giveaway news to pass on to you the reader, courtesy of our friends at StorageMart of Kansas City:
T-shirts, food, drinks, tickets whatever it is, who doesn't like giveaways? StorageMart of Kansas City is giving away tickets to see the Royals througout the last three months of the season. The great thing about this giveaway is how simple it is to win.

Simply visit the StorageMart Kansas City Facebook page, Like It, and post who you think will win and your registered. A winner will be chosen from those who posted. It is that simple!

Here are the dates and opponents of the tickets StorageMart will be giving away. They will soon be giving opening up for the July 10th giveaway.

July 10, 2011 Royals v Detroit Tigers
July 24, 2011 vs. Tampa Bay Rays
August 7, 2011 vs. Detroit Tigers
August 21, 2011 vs. Boston Red Sox
September 4, 2011 vs. Cleveland Indians
September 18, 2011 vs. Chicago White Sox

Let's face it, going to a game has never been as expensive as it is now. Take advantage of this giveaway and lower the price of seeing America's Past Time.


And stuff is always better when it's free anyway, so I got to thinking while I was doing this post that I'd Google: "Kc Royals halter top giveaway". And wouldn'tcha-know it, almost ever image came back to Royals Review. Of course that's really no shock.
And before you get mad at me, just know that I'm only doing this for you the reader, I myself have already entered.
Also be sure to check out Royals Merch: 4, the best one yet. Plus you will not suffer disjointedness.* And while there, you'll see a hilarious item. An item mind you,  that after you've won these free tickets you'll be able to buy a couple of....

*-Results not guaranteed, some may suffer rare disjointedness

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Royals Merch 4: The Journey

So we start out the Royals Merch 4 with a journey, to find ourselves the perfect thing to buy. And let me tell you it's going to be quite a trip, I mean since the Royal wedding it keeps getting harder to make these but alas it's time to start....

On your journey you are bound to get thirsty. It's a long trip and water is not cheap. Therefore a sippy cup is by far your best choice. Do you really want to accidentally tip your cup over losing everything, forcing you die of thirst in the middle of our trip ?

Your also going to need shoes, what you wanted to make this journey barefoot ? No. That's be just to stupid.
Put on your thong already, er flipflop....
$19.95 *

And of course you'll need these bad boys to go along with your sandals, gotta show of that summer fashion.
Finally the backpack. Maybe it doesn't talk, maybe if you sing Backpack Backpack to it nothing's going to happen. Not my probable it's yours. Besides you probable don't even speak Spanish do you ? No wonder Jose Guillen hated Kansas City.... Oh well let's get started....
$24.95 *

Psych ! Gonna need a beach towel in case we end up at the beach. I mean your never get a girl if you show up with no beach towel or worse....
Trust me I'm your wingman here !
$18.95 *


The first creature we meet is this delightful thing, we decide not to eat him because he looks to much like Al Cowens so we go to pay the  $19.99 but find out he's OUT OF STOCK.

Next we encounter  Kansas City Royals dancing musical player. Coupled with bad looks and bad reviews it chases us into the mountains.
$29.99 *

Ounce there we find a restaurnt and decide to get some toast. Luckly we still have the water from earlier so we're in good shape. Not sure why we bought a salt/peper shaker and a toaster for ourselves though.
$21.99 S/P
$ 39.99 Toaster

Next  we run into the helpful old gnome lady and her Wizard husband who lead us through the garden to the great lightswitch.
$29.99 Each
We flip the decorative switch , of which, you need like 15 for your whole house.
On Sale $7.99 *
So now the neon light shines brightly and our journey is all but complete.
$439.99 *
 And now I need these because I'm really going to miss you, and I might not ever see you again.
Man I'm an emotional wreck.
$2.95 *


The Magical Dino lets us inside the shop we've journeyed so far to see.
With it's:
  • Animated body movements
  • Flashing lights
  • Upbeat disco music
It serves as a fine ending to our splendid trip together. 
 $14.95 *

And there it is what you brought me all this way to help you buy....

Erotic art ? For real we came all this way for this ?
You perv !
I can see I've wasted my time. 
But hey maybe you out there somewhere reading this haven't wasted yours.
You to can buy this, this, this thing....
Only $5.95 here at the end of our trip........

Sunday, June 19, 2011


Sometimes you've got to wonder about me I can sense it in my veins like a part of the force. And surprisingly even though I'm still a jerk for not posting I've abused myself by still tuning into the games. But enough about me let's get to the bizarre facts that you might have missed with me being  gone....

  • Contrary to popular belief Tim Collins has not pitched in 70 games yet but only a mere 35. Can you believe that One ? Seems like he's been in just about every game.
  • The teams unite for Joplin patch is red because the official Missouri state bird is the Bluebird and Joplin is geographically closer to Kansas City then St.Louis.
  • Wilson Betemit once wrestled in the WWE and had a flashback, thus accidentally injuring Albert. 
So yeah as you can read it's been a thrill of a season but I shalt not give in. Hopefully in the near future I'll be able to get some interviews and stuff you'll actually care to read. But for now if I go on another post hiatus you can always follow me on Twitter or friend me on Facebook (be sure to tell me your a Royals fan).
Tell next time my pals, go Royals !

* - I liked that hat it was cool and modern just like the players who wore it.